Do you know why the airlines and airplane manufacturers haven't developed a jet engine that runs on Magical Pixie Dust? Because there is no financial incentive to do so. Right now they can just purchase jet fuel - priced at next to nothing - and keep flying their outdated, polluting planes all over.

What I propose is an additional tax of $2.25 per gallon of jet fuel. Alternatively, the airlines can offset one gallon of jet fuel by using one gram of Magical Pixie Dust. That way, there's a real, genuine financial incentive for the airlines to begin development of this more sustainable, more earth-friendly propulsion system.

The billions of dollars gathered in this jet fuel tax will be used partially to finance research into Magical Pixie Dust engine development, and partially to purchase those fossil-fuel burning airlines who refuse to make this change, and are driven into debt by their own hardheaded refusal to let go of yesterday's technology. Then, when the backward-thinking airline is publically owned, we can be assured that they're pursuing the newer, cleaner Magical Pixie Dust engines full bore.

I know you'll all support me in this.

No sign of the mouse yesterday afternoon when I left work. I made sure to park in the hottest, least-shady spot I could find and left all the windows all the way up. Figured that, if he found a way in, he could find a way out, and I ought to encourage him in his finding.

No sign again this morning when I left home. And the two traps I placed (one in the trunk, one on that carpeted shelf by the back window) had not been sprung.

So, either (quuf) it found its way into the wire-packed dashboard, chewed on somethine live and died...
Or just maybe he moved on.

I'm keeping a nice supply of fling-worthy objects on the passenger seat for a while, just in case.

There's a mouse in my car.

I've had mice show up in my home before - when you live in farm country and you live in a 120 year old house, that'll happen. There are ways to take care of that problem.

But in the car? I don't know how to deal with that.

Remember the incident with the enormous spider I discovered had made a very large and noticeable web between the passenger seat's headrest and the windshield, and how I didn't notice this or the huge spider resting in the web until I'd driven about fifteen miles toward work? And how completely rattled I was by that?

This was worse.

I was actually at the White Castle drive-thru window, getting my daily morning coffee (WC has the best fast-food coffee EVAR) when I detected movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned and spotted a little grey field mouse sitting there on the little ledge formed by the door panel where the door transitions to the back seat's side window.

I flipped the switch, lowering the window, thinking the mouse would be grateful for this opportunity to hop out of the vehicle and into the safety of White Castle's neatly-swept parking lot.

Unfortunately, this abrubt movement by the window - and, likely, the associated noise and vibration - scared the little bugger, and he jumped up onto the upholstered shelf behind the back seat.

At this point, the gentleman manning the drive thru was holding out my change to me, and I have no idea how long he was standing that way, money extended out to me. Did he see me freaking out? Did he see the mouse? No way to tell. When I turned around again to check things out, the mouse was gone.

I pulled into a parking spot, opened all the doors, checked under the seat. Nothing. I found an old pair of gardening gloves under the seat, and used that to probe around a little more. Still nothing.

In the glove box, I found - along with a few dozen sugar packets from previous visits to White Castle for coffee - evidence of a tiny mammalian presence. There was shredded paper and a few now-empty sugar packets.

All the way to work (a 30-mile ride) I could see that little fella running back and forth across that shelf in the rear window. If he made a move as if he were coming toward me, or going anywhere other than that rearmost place, I flung something back there at him.

When I got to work he had again disappeared somewhere. I checked on the car at lunch, but see no evidence of this stowaway.

I fear for my drive home. I'm sorta jumpy by nature, and the last thing I need is a field mouse hopped up on granulated sugar running around inside my freeway-speed Nissan.

I'm kinda sorta thinking of jettisoning this LJ and switching to a more appropriate format. Since I pretty much suck as an LJ friend anymore, anyway.

Since this decision will likely affect exactly no one, you may feel free to go about your business.

Attempting to rise to Mr. Speegle's Challenge:

Here is a step-by-step guide to diagnosing the more esoteric and hard-to-pinpoint typewriter malfunctions you may experience, and some real hands-on advice on how to repair them.

Find the How To guide behind the cut...( HERE )

You see some strange things on Facebook.

Someone I know on Facebook "...is now a fan of Gay Marriage."

Isn't that an odd phrase? A fan of gay marriage?

I'm picturing her with an enormous, rainbow-colored foam finger. Go, Gay Marriage!

I'm sure Gay Marriage appreciates all of its fan support though. I think it's facing Hetero Shacking Up in the quarterfinals. That's gonna be tough.

So, Land of the Lost is now a Major Motion Picture.

Suh. Weet.

How awesome was that old television show? I've got three words:
Claymation.
Dinosaurs.
Banjos.

Will Hollywood kill the awesomeness? Remains to be seen. Will Ferrell frequently makes my tummy hurt with teh laffs, but will it be an awkward fit?

Rumor has it the banjo-infused theme song will be utilized. Double sweet.

(Memory knocked free from somewhere in the Moon Grey Matter by the word 'Nerf' in Speegle's latest post...)

At the local children's urgent care.
In the little curtained-off Antechamber of Vital Statistics and Intake Rituals.
Geddy with his arm in an inflating cuff, answering questions with nods and shakes.
We're facing a corkboard on the opposite wall. There's a picture tacked up there, a photo of a large, yellow-and-orange Nerf gun of some type. Geddy points at it. He has a smaller version of that toy at home.
Above the picture are the words "Product Recall" and something about plastic parts and pinched fingers.
The nurse, now deflating the cuff, visually follows geddy's pointed digit, notes the toy gun.
"Do you have one of those?" she asks. She is evidencing what I interpret as way more than casual interest.
My paranoia gland begins to throb.
I answer for Geddy, who likely wouldn't have answered anyway.
"No."

(For you, Mrs. Moon.)
(Just because it made me laugh.)
(And it will make you laugh too.)


more lol celebs!

So, apparently (and thanks to renoir_girl for bringing this to my attention), David Foster Wallace's unfinished novel (unfinished, that is, at the time of his suicide) is to be published in some format next year.

I had, at best, mixed feelings about this, when I heard the idea. But then I read the excerpt in the New Yorker, I realize that I MUST read this. The novel, apparently, is centered on a low-level government employee, whose cubicle-land job is filled with such 'soul-murdering' tedium that he struggles to hold on to his own sanity. Not sure why this appeals to me (cough cough) but it does.

But here's the thing: if this is an early draft of his work, this guy was an amazing talent, and I'm filled again with grief that he couldn't subdue his inner demons enough to live out his life, to continue to write, and to find some semblance of chemical-controlled peace of mind.

I can't help it. When I see something like this 'Engrish' site it makes me laugh. I know that's not cool in this century; wasn't very cool last century either I guess. Well, not after about 1975. Maybe 1980.

But I think it's okay to laugh. I don't think asians are stupid or goofy or illiterate. Some things simply don't translate.

But I also have to hope that there are sites on these interwebs for politically incorrect asians who enjoy making fun of ignorant westerners who, for instance, have 'asian' characters tattoo'd on themselves. Bet you get some pretty gut-busting translation snafus there.

Let's just all agree to laugh at each other equally. As long as there's no humor gap, we're all free from racism.

About once a year the temperature here in central Ohio drops low enough for long enough to freeze the Big Darby. This beautiful river winds through the southernmost part of my backyard, and it provides nearly year-round entertainment for the Moon family.



In the Spring, when leaves are first starting to obscure our view of the water, we can still make out wood ducks and geese with their newly hatched young, trying out the slow-moving waters.
( continued... )

Specific Occupatial Titles involving the Word "Typewriter":

706.381-010 Aligner, Typewriter
706.382-010 Functional Tester, Typewriters
706.387-010 Inspector, Automatic Typewriter
706.381-022 Inspector, Typewriter Assembly and Parts
706.381-030 Repairer, Typewriter
203.132-010 Supervisor, Telegraphic-Typewriter Operators
203.582-050 Telegraphic-Typewriter Operator

Occupational Titles for which there is an "Alternate Title" which has the word "Typewriter":

275.357-034 Sales Representative, Typewriters (Alternate of "Sales Representative, Office Machines")
822.381-010 Telegraphic-Typewriter Installer ("Equipment Installer")
203.132-010 Telegraphic-Typewriter Operator, Chief ("Supervisor, Telegraphic-Typewriter Operators")
822.281-010 Telegraphic-Typewriter Repairer ("Automatic-Equipment Technician")
203.582-038 Typewriter Operator, Automatic ("Perforator Typist")
633.281-018 Typewriter Servicer ("Office Machine Servicer")
733.685-022 Typewriter-Ribbon Winder ("Ribbon Winder")

Description of the Occupational Title "Repairer, Typewriter":

Repairs and adjusts defective typewriters removed from production line, usng handtools, power tools, and gauges.

Tasks:
1. Operates typewriter to test functioning of parts and mechanisms to determine repairs required.
2. Disassembles machines to repair or replace defective components, using handtools and holding devices.
3. Bends, taps, turns parts, such as screws, nuts, and type bar, to eliminate binding, looseness, and misalignment, using special handtools.
4. Verifies specified clearance between parts, using spacebars, tension scales, dial indicators, and feeler gauges.
5. Measures rotation of motor drive-wheel to determine speed of wheel using tachometer.